Excerpt from: “Who is Diego? Wearing a Mask When...

Excerpt from: “Who is Diego? Wearing a Mask When You Have Bipolar”
“Scott is the fictional version of me. The real me is much darker,” I told my group of friends.
A palpable silence followed my words. How did I get here? I asked myself. Oh, yeah, bipolar and the masks I wear.
A few of my friends were chatting on Zoom one Saturday morning. The conversation was full of laughs and encouraging quips. In time, it turned to alter egos, and one friend introduced us to Fern, her Kentucky Mountains alter ego. Fern is a little nutty and had us all in stitches. If you ever need to go on a long road trip, Fern is the companion you want with you. She makes everything colorful and exciting.
One friend, Jack, is new to the group. He was interested in learning as much as he could about each of us, and went around the virtual room asking each of us about our alternate personalities.
When it was my turn, he asked about my secret identity.
I told him, “While I’ve played with nicknames over the years, I can’t say I have an alter ego.”
“Come on,” he chided me. “Who is the fictional version of you? I’m sure you have one.”
For the next few minutes, we joked about a fictional version of me named Diego. I don’t know why Diego. It’s a name that’s stuck with me since I wrote a short story with that name several years ago. We decided Diego is the silly side of me that loves to take those road trips with Fern.
Jack wanted more. He refused to quit until I revealed my truth.
“Honestly?” I started. “If anything, Scott is the fictional version of me. The real me is much darker.”
It was a joke, but also a painful reality of having a mental illness. Too often, we fight to put up a persona rather than showing people the reality of our mental state. It’s the masks bipolar makes us wear...
Read More: SpeakingBipolar.com

Until next time, keep fighting.

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